Is There Such Thing as a 'Real' Man? - The Good Men Project

I’m not saying that it’s not healthy to aspire to be a “good man,” but the truth of the matter is that it’s a whole lot more complex than that. I bet if you asked ten thousand people from across the globe their answers would all be somewhat different. The irony of it all is that we seem to do it to ourselves as we try to find a place to fit in the world like the infamous “square peg”. And as we get older and learn lessons that our parents told us long ago; when the penny drops, a lot of us seem to relax and be content with those rough-edges that we have, and we realize that if we want to fit into the world, then the world has to fit in with us. My own dad, wherever he was at the time, wasn’t there and able to give me the emotional support when puberty was throwing the works at me. With no father figure and no coping mechanisms in place I grew up with a really warped sense of men and masculinity; many boys, we mimic our relationship with fathers, and since he wasn’t there regularly and gave me no emotional support when he was there, I grew up with complex emotional problems and ended up very jaded. My view on the world was scarred by my deep insecurity and outward hostility to men that I didn’t know. The men in my groups that I’ve run before — all they wanted to accomplish was a better life for their family. I began to realize that through getting interested in other men and their stories that it was me that needed healing, and not the other way around. If you look at Steve Jobs, then look at Hulk Hogan, you will soon see that both are practically on the opposite ends of that spectrum.